HOW MANIPULATORS TEST BOUNDARIES BEFORE AGGRESSION
- Fendo UK
- May 11
- 4 min read
When people think about violence, they think it starts with aggression, but that’s the mistake most people make. They picture the moment it explodes; the shove, the strike, the raised voice, but by the time it gets there, the process is already well underway. The groundwork has been laid. The decisions on both sides have already started forming, because manipulators don’t begin with force. They begin with tests. Small ones. Almost invisible. The kind of things most people brush off, excuse, or don’t even consciously register. That’s how they get away with it. Not because they’re always highly skilled, but because the early stages don’t look like a threat. They look like nothing. A comment that feels slightly off. A joke that pushes just a bit too far. A step into your space that lingers a second longer than it should. A tone that carries something underneath it, something not quite right, and in that moment, something important happens. They’re not trying to dominate you yet. They’re trying to read you. Every one of those small actions is a probe. A way of asking a question without saying it directly: Will you challenge this? Will you ignore it? Will you submit to it? and your response, whether you realise it or not, answers that question.
